February 3, 2012

Countdown to Valentine's Day 2012!


The 7th countdown promises to be a memorable one, with cupid waving around guns, vodka-induced sexual experimentation, and an older gal taking a moment, or more, to teach a young lad the ropes in the bdrm, or on the front yard...well, you get the picture.

The intro to the Vday countdown

Countdown to Valentine's Day 2012- Risqué VDay!

Valentine's Day is a day to share with that special guy or gal in one's life, to shower them with affection and show them just how much you adore them...scratch...Hell, who do I think I am kidding? That may be the case in the real world...maybe, but here in fic land-especially twi-related fic- Valentine's Day is about getting your freak on, and maybe a bit of the mushy stuff, too.

This year, we have an amazing line-up of ladies who want to share their inner sex-goddess with you.

They are writing from categories such as...

1- A homoerotic cupid

2- Cupid's Got a Gun

3- What inspired these sexy times? Two parts vodka, one part lime.

4- They say men are from Mars and woman from Venus...
let's kiss and remove all the clothes in-between us.


5- A young lad from Forks
Had never had sex, it was true
Then he met a slightly older lass
So... they did it on the grass
And, man, that girl knew what to do!

(subject to changing of the sex in each verse)


As always, there will be a collaboration at the end, written by every single one of the one shot authors.
Participating authors are:

Suzuki Ai

Be sure to put this countdown on alert. It is sure to be a leg clencher ;-P

Some of the teasers from the countdown...after the jump!

Here ya are, ladies.

Some teasers to keep ya squealing until the one-shots are posted.

Teaser for Three for the Road- By WitchyVampireGirl
As I continued to put miles between me and Forks, the tension and fear that were constant weights around my neck began to loosen. No longer did I feel I needed to be guarded, constantly watching over my shoulder. The ever present hyper-awareness of every action and move I made being scrutinized and criticized was slowly ebbing away.
It wasn't until I crossed the border from Oregon into California that I finally felt free. It could have been that the distance was growing longer or that the marks from my body were fading, but it was the first time I felt like I could heal. I pulled over shortly after I crossed into California and cried. I cried for all the hurt and pain and for all the lies and betrayal. I cried for the mistakes I had made and for the loss of who I was going to be.
My eyes would never be that naïve, that willing to overlook the flaws and the warnings ever again. The rose colored glasses had come off and in their place were skepticism and a jaded edge. I learned the hard way that love shouldn't physically hurt, that it shouldn't want to make you cringe in fear.

Teaser for MOVING VIOLATION (an After The Smoke Clears outtake)- by BornonHalloween

I know I don't look nearly as smooth and sexy as Edward when he shifts gears. Damn, I love to watch him drive this car. Edward will have his drinks now but he'll be sobered up long before either one of us would let him get behind the wheel later tonight. My heart picks up speed as I hit the turnoff. Edward's iPod clicks to my favorite Rage Against the Machine tune and for just a brief moment, I'm not Jasper Whitlock of the San Francisco Fire Department, but Officer Masen on the chase. All that's missing from the scene are the blue lights and siren.
And that's when I notice the blue lights in my rear-view mirror.

Teaser for Hearts of Grass- By Beegurl13

"I'm having so much fun tonight," she said as she scooted across the seat and sat right next to me. "Where are you taking me, Edward?" I felt her nose against my jaw, her warm breath on the skin of my neck. It sent shivers down my spine.
"Ugh, I just wanted to show you this place, it's not far."
"Okay, if you say so." Her hand smoothed across my chest, not stopping until it rested on my shoulder and she had pulled herself up against me. "Wow, you've really grown up, haven't you, Edward? You're not just Rose's little brother anymore."
I grinned, glad she had noticed, but thinking it was probably something else leading her to say what she'd said. "I think someone's had a bit much to drink tonight."
"Well, maybe so, but that doesn't mean it isn't true, now does it?"
I laughed off her comments, trying to keep my wits about me as we continued down the road. Her head rested on my shoulder, and I enjoyed every moment of it. I knew it would most likely never happen again, and I wanted to remember it for the rest of my life.
A smaller road split off from the well traveled one we were riding on, and I turned down the dark trail.
"You're not gonna go all ax murderer on me out here, are you?" she joked.
"No, sweetheart, nothing like that."

Teaser for Calm, Cool, and Roofied- By LVTwilight09

That first day, he came into my office to introduce himself, and I swear it was as if the heavens opened up and I could hear the angels singing. He was sex on legs…if I hadn't known better, I would have thought that someone had reached into the very depths of my soul and designed me my perfect man. Sadly, I was quickly brought back to reality when I noticed how quiet and reserved he was. Now don't get me wrong, I'm okay with people who are on the quiet side, I'm not the most rambunctious one in the bunch either, but it was as if the man would avoid me like the plague.
Anytime I came into the room he would get quiet as a church mouse, and any time he had to interact with me, he would do anything he could to try to get out of working with me, and when he couldn't…it would be like pulling teeth to even get him to make eye contact with me. I didn't know if I had done something to offend him at some point or if he just blatantly didn't like me for some reason. Either way, it sucked, because the more I learned about him; either through Edward, Bella, Emmett, and Rose, or by working with him, or by letting my curiosity get the best of me and googling him – I'm not a stalker, I swear – I fell for him more.

Teaser for How to get your…groove on? By Rbsschess
Edward is one smooth talker…NOT. So how does the geek with stalker spend Valentine's Day? With the hot girl of course.

February 1st I receive an e-mail, anonymously, in the account I keep strictly for the students I tutor.

I see you and your beautiful.

Your Valentine

Great! One of the idiots I tutor is stalking me. I thought through the undergrad's I tutored, most of which were male, and shuddered. No fucking way.
I hit reply, determined to try to stop this immediately.
Please stop looking.
That should do it, short and to the point. I hit send and went on with my day. I looked at my watch and knew if I hurried, I could watch Bella from across the café at lunch.
The next day I entered the tutoring centerto find a card in my cubby. It had a bag of candy hearts taped to it and the note said, I can't. Seeing you is the very best part of my day.
That was creepy and I looked around to see if anyone was watching me, but I couldn't tell. I thought about mentioning it to Emmett but was not up for his teasing today.

Teaser for Handyboy -By Kitkat681

Esme was in the middle of yet another trip to the sink to get rid of the water when someone knocked. In her rush to answer the door, she managed to douse herself with the water that was left in the bucket, but she couldn't be bothered to care. Soon this nightmare would be a thing of the past and she would be able to sit down with a glass of wine and relax. She swung open the door as she reached down for the hem of her shirt, trying to ring out some of the water. The sound of a loud thump had her head whipping up to meet the shocked face of a kid who couldn't have been much older than 18. His dark eyes were so wide she could see the white all around them and his gaze was trained on the exposed skin of her belly, his hand empty after he apparently dropped his tool box. She flushed and pushed at the damp material, trying to cover herself but all that did was pull it taught over her breasts and her nipples reacted to the cold air by doing their own salute to her new handyman.

Teaser for Thou shalt Not Suffer- By twiXlite
"What the hell is this?" Even though the words had come out of my mouth, I wasn't sure I wanted to know but I asked anyway, looking around at the bare walls. They were nothing more than concrete blocks in that depressing grey that would send anyone insane within minutes and a solid concrete floor. The only break in the concrete was a thick metal door and a large glass window that looked out into the stark corridor. "Where the hell are we?"
"In containment." He said lifelessly and I looked at him again.
"Why?" What the hell was I in containment for? I hadn't done anything wrong. At least not that I knew of.
"We've been accused." He stated it like it was a simple fact he had come to accept.
"Accused of what?" What kind of accusation would land you in a place like this without any warning? I think even prisoners on death row had more of a chance than we had in this place. What kind of fucked up situation was this?

Teaser for Heart(t)rob -By BronzeHyperion
My name is Bella Swan. And my life is meaningless.
Okay, maybe meaningless is a bit dramatic but the harsh truth remains that it's average; mediocre at best.
Now I know plenty of people are okay with that and for the longest time I was too. I mean, if you don't know what you're missing, than it's easy to pretend you're satisfied with your life, right?
But that was before.
Before he came along.
Before he came along and stole my heart.
Amongst other things…

Teaser for The Break- By Isannah
She was such a fucking vixen. Everything that came out of that girl's mouth was seductive. As soon as the door was shut, all the pent up energy created by the grope session in the hallway exploded. Two steps were all it took to reach her and pull her back to my chest. Moving her hair to the side, I kissed the back of her neck and let my hands roam her body. "I can't stand the way you tease, baby." She reached one hand around the back of my neck and began to grind her ass into my cock. I was two seconds away from not being a gentleman.
"A tease doesn't plan on giving up what she's advertising. Believe me, Emmett. I. Am. No. Tease." Rose pushed away from me and spun around. Her eyes were devious as she tugged the small ribbon tied in a bow that rested on her hip. Up until now I had no idea the power that ribbon held, but when the dress fell open and then to the floor I was in absolute shock that all that women had been held in by a single bow.

Teaser for Dancing Away With My Heart- By PixieH
"Music is a language you understand, it's actually one of the things I love most about you, so I have enclosed a few words from a song close to my heart.
The lyrics may not have been written by my hand, but they may as well have been. They say what I have never been able to say to you. So here goes...

"I haven't seen you in ages.
Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are.
To me you'll always be 18, and beautiful.
And dancing away with my heart."
And you did, Jasper.
The night of the prom you danced away with my heart. You didn't know it at the time, but you took it with you to Texas, and I never got it back."

Teaser for Sweet Dreams- By Dolphin62598
"What are you doing?" he asked Emmett. I swung around on my stool and leaned against the bar with my elbows smirking at Heidi. She was still glaring, but now it was directed at Edward.
"Having some drinks with B," Emmett stated coolly."Someone had to get her out of the funk she was in and you disowned her…so I guess that leaves the responsibility on me."
"What are you talking about?" he asked Emmett and without waiting for an answer his gaze snapped to me. "What's he talking about?"
"You don't need me Edward. You don't want anything to do with me."
"Says who?" Edward asked.

Teaser for Pretty Eyes- By ATaletobeTold
Standing in front of our apartment, I tugged my suit jacket down, making sure there were no wrinkles. I hid the flowers in my other hand behind my back and knocked loudly. I had sent a dozen flowers to Bella just a couple days ago, asking her to join me for a romantic date and for me to apologize properly for being such an ass. I received a text later that night that read: "Go fuck yourself". 

I responded with "Please. :'(".
Shortly after that, I got a "Yes. Sorry Rose answered for me." So here I am, standing here at our door, wanting nothing more than to apologize and make things right with us.
The door swung open to the most gorgeous woman to ever walk this earth, and she was wearing the most brilliant smile. My eyes travelled over her, taking her all in. She had her hair swept up with just a few curls hanging down her back, her dress was a little red number that hugged my favorite curves of Bella's and hit just above her knees to show off her gorgeous legs, and she had on her favorite heels. 

Yeah, I know these things. I should after all these years.

Teaser for Dinner and a Movie- By ATaletobeTold

The kiss was light, like he was testing the waters. There was emotion behind this kiss; he deepened it, causing me to groan into his mouth. My hands gripped his shirt, searching for contact with his chest, while my lips moved against his.
"Sorry, I've wanted to do that since I saw you open the door," Emmett apologized. He ran his fingertips up and down the backs of my arms causing goose bumps to appear on my skin.
"Don't apologize. I liked it," I said, blushing.
"So you won't mind if I do this…" he said before he kissed the spot just under my ear and trailed kisses down my neck. My grip tightened on his shirt as heat ran through me and awakened every nerve ending from head to toe. He brought his lips back to mine and kissed me hungrily. I felt his tongue move across my lower lip and my tongue sought out his. The kiss deepened as our tongues danced and our hands explored. The hard planes of his chest pressed into me, and I heard him moan when I moved my hands through his hair and pulled.
"Rose…" he breathed, breaking our kiss.
"Hmmm?" I hummed as he gripped my ass and I wound my legs around his waist.
"Bedroom. Where's the bedroom?" he growled into my ear as he placed kisses along my shoulder.

Teaser for One More Drink- by: duhitsangie

"You're late," a familiar, sweet voice chided as I walked through the door.
"Well hello there, tiny," I grinned opening my arms to the petite brunette hiding out near the entrance. 

"Waiting for me?"
"You wish," she snorted, stepping into my arms.
I smiled at the familiar warmth I felt having her in my arms. The sweet scent of peaches invading my senses as I buried my face in her hair.
"I do. You know I'm just waiting for you to admit your love for me, Bella." I chuckled as I squeezed her tighter. "I mean, it may seem incestual but I'm sure we can make it work out."
"Shut up," she said, laughing as she stepped out of my arms. "How are you, Eddie?"
I shook my head at the childhood nickname, knowing that no matter how many times I told her, she would never stop calling me that.
"The same as the last time I saw you, Belly." I smirked, knowing I had a nickname that irked her too. "Single and sexy and.."
"Just as cocky as always." She rolled her eyes. "And getting old."
"Ouch, B, that hurts," I said, holding a hand to my chest.
"You are." She shrugged. "That's why your sister has a plethora of woman out there ready to make an honest man out of you."
"I knew it," I groaned. "How bad is it?"
"Not bad at all." She giggled and I knew she was lying. "Lots of hot blondes, you'll love it."
"Bella," I whined, pulling her into my arms. "Marry me and stop the craziness that is my little sister."

Teaser for Of Course It Was You - By: Breath-of-twilight
Shit, maybe it wasn't. Think, Swan. What to say? What to say? Being in this close proximity to Edward was making her thoughts sluggish, and the smell of his cologne was doing crazy things to her...
"Here, drink this. Lighten up."
"What is it?"
"I've never had that before. I don't know..."
"Look, you lick your hand, sprinkle some salt on the wet spot, lick it off, down the shot, and chew on this lime, k? It's good. You'll like it."
Bella eyed the weird array of items warily. Not really trusting Edward's declaration of goodness. In fact, she was sure it was bound to taste like ass. And why did she have to lick salt off of herself, again?
"How can you say that it's good if you need salt and lime to make it taste better?"
Edward laughed heartily, if not a little drunkenly, at Bella's observation. She was right, of course. Wasn't she always? But he had no intention of telling her that. Not until she loosened up a bit and had a little fun.
"Just trust me, okay? They're not so bad. One, two, three, lick..."
Bella squeezed her eyes shut, deciding she could give in a little to Edward. He was Edward, after all; perfect, gorgeous, funny, loveable, quirky, infuriating... and she swiped her tongue over the salt on her hand. That part wasn't so bad, so she tipped the shot glass and winced as the liquid slid down her throat, feeling like flames were licking along her insides. She quickly grabbed the lime off of the table, praying that the citrusy juice would be able to tame the burn, even just a little bit. She sighed when it did, then glared at Edward, who was starting at her, smirk in place, raised brow, and acting all innocent.

Teaser for Scotch and Martinis- By: Sunsetwing

He reaches back and takes out his wallet, and out comes a black Amex. I don't know whether to be insulted or turned on because I feel like he's trying to impress me, but what he doesn't know is that I was already impressed, had been since the moment I first saw him. It isn't often that you find a man his age that looks that good. His wife was a fucking moron.
The woman at the counter is checking Edward out, and I suddenly feel him bring me closer to his side. She hands him the key card, and immediately he turns before she can thank us for our business.
We enter the elevator and there's this sexually charged atmosphere that I feel like I'm drowning in. I don't think I've ever been this excited to sleep with someone… ever.
"Why'd you pay? This wasn't your idea. I didn't expect you to pay, much less get us a suite."
"If I want to spoil my Valentine's date then that's my prerogative. I want to be able to fuck you against every available surface I can touch. Your standard room seriously limits what I want to do to you."
He says it so off handedly that I do a double take, wondering if what I heard was really what I heard.
He laughs. "You think you can tell me you're going to 'fuck me hard' and then not expect me to start thinking about what that could entail… hmmm?"

Teaser for Cupid's Got a Gun - By: theotherbella

My eyes snapped open, and I looked over, seeing a small woman, maybe 24, in the drivers seat, desperately trying to pry the front panel off of the car, underneath the steering wheel.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I exclaimed, shrinking back to the corner of my seat.
"Um...carjacking you?" She offered, as though it were more of a question to my question instead of an answer. Call me crazy, but I suddenly didn't feel as nervous as I did a second ago. "At least, I'm trying to."
Holy shit.
I groaned, shaking my head. "What?"
She huffed in annoyance, and sighed. 'FUCK!" She wailed, slamming her hands on the steering wheel. "I can't fucking do anything!"
And then...she cried.
This could not get any more bizarre.
So, my typical guy must-make-helpless-female-stop-crying reflex kicked in and I shook my head, reaching over to pat her shoulder. "Just press the button," I whispered, wondering why I was giving her tips on how to jack the car. "He keeps a spare set in the glove compartment."
She turned red rimmed, but still brilliant brown eyes on me. They were wide with shock, a bit of disbelief and some trepidation. I wondered if she always looked like that, or if it was only because of the situation. Then again, I was allowing her to jack my brother's car.

Some of these lovely ladies had banners made for their one shots. I have them up on my FB page, if you wanna check them out. Find me there as KF Goodyear (Breath-of-twilight).
We are now busy working away on the collab, and I think it will be quite a crowd pleaser. Here is a teaser for it, as well.

A Scrooge for Valentine's Day?
Look at all of them, stupid fucking fools. Don't they see this holiday is nothing more than a play to get everyone to spend money? It's a holiday set up by the greeting card and flower companies to get more cash out of people who don't have it as is.
"You waiting on someone?" the bartender asked as soon as I sat at the bar.
"No. Can I have a cognac, neat," I answered agitatedly.
The bartender walked off to get my drink. As I waited, I looked back out at the couples dining in the candlelit restaurant that was decorated in such a way one would think Cupid himself had vomited all over it. If I wasn't so bitter, I may have thought the scene was romantic instead of nauseating.
When I saw the fool a few tables away get down on one knee, I wanted to yell out that he was a sucker and to run while he could. All he was doing was setting his self up for disappointment. The most likely outcome would be that she would go all gushy girl-like and squeal out a ear shattering yes; and yes, to most, is exactly what they would want for someone else. But I knew what those foolish fuckers didn't, and that was that not long after she said yes, when the sweet, lovey-dovey mushiness of new love wore off, she would eat him alive, and then when he was nothing but a sniveling, pathetic, altered version of his former self, she would take everything from him. His money, his family, his pride; hell, even his self-worth.

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