October 21, 2010
Review: Barely Breathing by jarkin33
The Story: Barely Breathing
The Author: jarkin33
The Pairing: Edward and Bella
The Status: Complete
The Summary: A love taken for granted, we don't always realize what we have until it's gone. "They say bad things happen for a reason and I'd like to believe that's true." A story about realizing what's important.
The Review: This is a first attempt for this author and all I can say is, "WRITE MORE STORIES". Well, she has and I will definitely be reading them.
This tale, while a mere 6 chapters, is layered with a story of love , break up and reunion, rolled up in joy, heartbreak and relief, washed down with tears of anguish and happiness. Without mincing words, the author gets right to the point. In less than 10 sentences, she summarizes their relationship without leaving you wanting.
I love Edward in ways that are impossible to explain. But, I wonder now if it is enough. From the moment he walked into my bookstore I was captivated. I fell hook, line and sinker for the man with the bronze, unruly hair and piercing green eyes and there was no turning back. I was his completely. He laid on the charm and sweet-talked me into giving him my phone number with the promise of a call and a date. Honestly, he could have asked for anything that day and I would have given it to him.
Five years. That's how long I've loved him. I'll love him forever, but I can't continue to pretend that I'm happy with the life we have right now.
Once again, she writes a scene that is concise but thorough. She proves that just because you write pages and pages of thoughts and dialogue doesn't necessarily make it better. I can feel the heartbreak of both characters in this brief exchange.
"Edward, I just can't do this anymore."
"Do what, exactly, Bella?"
He sat down next to me on the couch, and I knew that he noticed the tear tracks on my cheeks and the defeated appearance of my posture and my red, bloodshot eyes.
There is alternating POV but it doesn't re-iterate each scene line for line. (Thank goodness!!) Several lines are used from each perspective that give you a feeling of symmetry yet diversity. There are instances where something is left vague from one view point but told in detail from the other. One thread wraps around the other creating a perfect stitch. It's seamless.
It's short but sweet and so worth your time. Read it. Review it. Tell her we sent you. You won't regret it. I promise.